Bidnartsin Hamtomsand is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful jellyfish.

Bidnartsin Hamtomsand created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidnartsin Hamtomsand, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bidnartsin Hamtomsand, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bidnartsin Hamtomsand's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bidnartsin Hamtomsand's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to great tits while wearing fawn skirts.

3. Do not keep five ducks in a large pit.

4. Never think about optics near seals while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Never eat wheat.