Arfkadbedxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless cat.

Arfkadbedxuc created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfkadbedxuc, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Arfkadbedxuc, he will turn you into a rat.

Arfkadbedxuc's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Arfkadbedxuc's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near frogs while wearing magenta corsets and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.

3. Do not kill horses.

4. Never wear turquoise scarves.

5. Do not shave your neck.