Sitgillik is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring gorilla.

Sitgillik created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitgillik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sitgillik, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sitgillik's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sitgillik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never paint your hands purple.

3. Never talk about seals.

4. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about fire.