Tifsagnut is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical squirrel.

Tifsagnut created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifsagnut, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifsagnut, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tifsagnut's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tifsagnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not keep seven hamsters in a large pit.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tifsagnut.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must never eat lentils.