Zenvensas is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, omniscient crane.

Zenvensas created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenvensas, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zenvensas, he will curse you with boils.

Zenvensas' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Zenvensas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

2. Never paint your chest cyan.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing green dresses and balancing seven copper spheres on your face.

5. Run away from mauve dolphins, for they are unholy.