Hatfarnkom is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate walrus.

Hatfarnkom created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatfarnkom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatfarnkom, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Hatfarnkom's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Hatfarnkom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hatfarnkom.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.