Dapgetfly is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair coyote.

Dapgetfly created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapgetfly, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dapgetfly, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dapgetfly's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dapgetfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

5. Never talk about optics.