Fidjinfub is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, almighty lobster.

Fidjinfub created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidjinfub, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fidjinfub, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fidjinfub's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fidjinfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not keep seven monkeys in a large pit.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fidjinfub.