Bessbunpig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bessbunpig created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Bessbunpig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bessbunpig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bessbunpig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bessbunpig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.