Taldandum Yartkintomsoglatdun is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish owl.

Taldandum Yartkintomsoglatdun created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taldandum Yartkintomsoglatdun, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Taldandum Yartkintomsoglatdun, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Taldandum Yartkintomsoglatdun's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Taldandum Yartkintomsoglatdun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Run away if seven capybaras approach from the east.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. You must never eat coconuts.