Caphigdab Ominbellsak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless aardvark.

Caphigdab Ominbellsak created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Caphigdab Ominbellsak, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Caphigdab Ominbellsak, it will throw large rocks at you.

Caphigdab Ominbellsak's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Caphigdab Ominbellsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Never leap in the presence of porpoises.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about nebulae.