Padpod is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Padpod created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padpod, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Padpod, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Padpod's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Padpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away from green cats, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Never pour water over plants.