Dimgepvigtonbonbit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful faun.

Dimgepvigtonbonbit created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimgepvigtonbonbit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dimgepvigtonbonbit, it will cry a lot.

Dimgepvigtonbonbit's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Dimgepvigtonbonbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Dimgepvigtonbonbit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away from mauve tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Dimgepvigtonbonbit in the centre of the settlement.

5. Dimgepvigtonbonbit loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.