Tapgenweg is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, boastful slug.

Tapgenweg created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Tapgenweg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tapgenweg, he will cry a lot.

Tapgenweg's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tapgenweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Run away if four mites approach from the south.