Tiffaslig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-knowing fly.

Tiffaslig created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffaslig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tiffaslig, it will turn you into a dog.

Tiffaslig's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tiffaslig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never wear white dresses.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.