Ranstafbin is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-confident pigeon.

Ranstafbin created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranstafbin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ranstafbin, he will be very sad.

Ranstafbin's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Ranstafbin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Ranstafbin on top of important buildings.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near porpoises while wearing yellow shoes and balancing six iron spheres on your face.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.