Lam Gubcadtab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring spider.

Lam Gubcadtab created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lam Gubcadtab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lam Gubcadtab, she will turn you into a rock.

Lam Gubcadtab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Lam Gubcadtab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look after injured tapirs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always stare at clouds.