Nanrillstaffen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tranquil raven.

Nanrillstaffen created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanrillstaffen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nanrillstaffen, she will turn you into a hamster.

Nanrillstaffen's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nanrillstaffen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about amino acids.