Dotfuttam is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic slug.

Dotfuttam created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Dotfuttam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dotfuttam, she will destroy your home planet.

Dotfuttam's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dotfuttam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.