Flamnarrig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional armadillo.

Flamnarrig created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamnarrig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flamnarrig, it will turn you into a duck.

Flamnarrig's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Flamnarrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Flamnarrig loves rats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.