Pitpakmap is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-powerful raccoon.

Pitpakmap created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitpakmap, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pitpakmap, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pitpakmap's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Pitpakmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Do not commit murder.