Mutweg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, quiet crow.

Mutweg created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Mutweg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Mutweg, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Mutweg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mutweg's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Mutweg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mutweg.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near dolphins while wearing turquoise tights.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.