Omtvabxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless aardvark.

Omtvabxuck created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Omtvabxuck, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Omtvabxuck, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Omtvabxuck's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Omtvabxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four mice in a large pit.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Erect three platinum sculptures of Omtvabxuck on top of important buildings.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Do not shave your back.