Vonmil is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing eagle.

Vonmil created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonmil, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonmil, he will not care at all.

Vonmil's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Vonmil's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black mites, for they are unholy.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never leap in holy places.