Lopjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered fox.

Lopjarn created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopjarn, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lopjarn, she will turn you into a dog.

Lopjarn's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Lopjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not eat coconuts.

3. Do not take Lopjarn's name in vain.

4. You must love Lopjarn.

5. Do not speak about oranges.