Zimbanstipdib is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, boastful dolphin.

Zimbanstipdib created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimbanstipdib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zimbanstipdib, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zimbanstipdib's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Zimbanstipdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never wear white corsets.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Always obey Zimbanstipdib's priests.

5. Learn six new languages a year.