Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, resourceful coyote.

Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Bellarnwapyogvolwadlad must be the most important thing in your life.