Bellingjat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, irritating snake.

Bellingjat created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Bellingjat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bellingjat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Bellingjat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bellingjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sharks.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Pray towards the north.