Wigquamjarnlun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, wise fly.

Wigquamjarnlun created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigquamjarnlun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wigquamjarnlun, it will turn you into a plant.

Wigquamjarnlun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Wigquamjarnlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about fluid mechanics.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Run away from turquoise hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.