Vilfobfubkaptonkmobvonksak is a god.

He takes the form of a large, passionate donkey.

Vilfobfubkaptonkmobvonksak created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vilfobfubkaptonkmobvonksak, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vilfobfubkaptonkmobvonksak, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vilfobfubkaptonkmobvonksak's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vilfobfubkaptonkmobvonksak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near aardvarks while wearing purple trousers and balancing seven lead spheres on your neck.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.