Hamnulmon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sapient grasshopper.

Hamnulmon created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamnulmon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hamnulmon, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hamnulmon's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hamnulmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to sharks while wearing red dresses.

2. Never chant near eagles.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hamnulmon.

5. Never wear blue stockings.