Jabflag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless crab.

Jabflag created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jabflag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabflag, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jabflag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jabflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Retreat if nine cats approach from the east.

3. Jabflag loves voles, so they must be respected.

4. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

5. Do not shave your head.