Bunlatkim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-assured guinea pig.

Bunlatkim created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bunlatkim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bunlatkim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bunlatkim's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bunlatkim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bunlatkim on top of all buildings.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.