Gubhogquag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair porpoise.

Gubhogquag created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Gubhogquag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gubhogquag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gubhogquag's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gubhogquag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three ants approach from the east.

2. Never hurt frogs.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.