Mindudwad Bitwigvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured ant.

Mindudwad Bitwigvin created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mindudwad Bitwigvin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mindudwad Bitwigvin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Mindudwad Bitwigvin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Mindudwad Bitwigvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Put Mindudwad Bitwigvin first in all things.

5. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the east.