Lamflatnutt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous wolf.

Lamflatnutt created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamflatnutt, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lamflatnutt, he will turn you into a frog.

Lamflatnutt's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Lamflatnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.