Rakpakdit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful squirrel.

Rakpakdit created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakpakdit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rakpakdit, she will manifest in front of you.

Rakpakdit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rakpakdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help ants in need.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.