Dimsafzod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, capable swan.

Dimsafzod created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dimsafzod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dimsafzod, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dimsafzod's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dimsafzod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.