Fagfemstik is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciless deer.

Fagfemstik created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagfemstik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fagfemstik, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fagfemstik's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fagfemstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Fagfemstik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never sprint in the presence of frogs.

5. Never wear boots.