Spaglattin is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable dryad.

Spaglattin created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spaglattin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Spaglattin, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Spaglattin's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Spaglattin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never wear fawn kilts.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always help ducks in need.