Jopbodomin Largbemdum is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ill-tempered badger.

Jopbodomin Largbemdum created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbodomin Largbemdum, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jopbodomin Largbemdum, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jopbodomin Largbemdum's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jopbodomin Largbemdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to sharks while wearing hats.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jopbodomin Largbemdum.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. You must never eat melons.