Nurtimgarjinkop is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, almighty human.

Nurtimgarjinkop created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtimgarjinkop, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurtimgarjinkop, she will be very unhappy.

Nurtimgarjinkop's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nurtimgarjinkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to birds while wearing purple jumpers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about gravity near dolphins while wearing indigo hats.

5. Never hurt great tits.