Zagqueeglig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, fussy bat.

Zagqueeglig created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagqueeglig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagqueeglig, it will turn you into a goat.

Zagqueeglig's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Zagqueeglig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.