Wittitrag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish cow.

Wittitrag created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wittitrag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wittitrag, it will turn you into a dog.

Wittitrag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wittitrag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six snakes approach from the north.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Put Wittitrag first in all things.

5. Never eat bark.