Poglakkan Hoggupfab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic eagle.

Poglakkan Hoggupfab created a photon two years ago.

If you believe in Poglakkan Hoggupfab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Poglakkan Hoggupfab, she will send you a sign.

Poglakkan Hoggupfab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Poglakkan Hoggupfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Poglakkan Hoggupfab on top of all buildings.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.