Stanstiptan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, grumpy cat.

Stanstiptan created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanstiptan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stanstiptan, he will be very sad.

Stanstiptan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Stanstiptan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Never paint your feet fawn.