Cumyatcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, flying crow.

Cumyatcan created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumyatcan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cumyatcan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cumyatcan's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cumyatcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cumyatcan's priests.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Cumyatcan on top of all buildings.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed carrots to doves while wearing trousers.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.