Narkental Sagpindim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, cheerful slug.

Narkental Sagpindim created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narkental Sagpindim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Narkental Sagpindim, it will have a low opinion of you.

Narkental Sagpindim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Narkental Sagpindim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Run away from violet voles, for they are unholy.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. You must pray to Narkental Sagpindim eight times a day.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.