Apploopvogran is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless eagle.

Apploopvogran created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Apploopvogran, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Apploopvogran, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Apploopvogran's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Apploopvogran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.