Flapfomdap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, slow porpoise.

Flapfomdap created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapfomdap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Flapfomdap, she will refuse to believe in you.

Flapfomdap's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Flapfomdap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.